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pulling away.
2002-09-24 | 1:17 p.m.

things have been strange lately. things have been really really strange. my life is nonstop. i don't know why i feel like that. i have my moments of downtime, but not all the time. and lately i haven't been wanting to come here. but today i kinda have stuff to talk about.

i feel like crap today. my stomach is sick. nauseous of course. my lower abdomen hurts too. it's intestinal stuff though. my head hurts. my nose is stuffy. my ears hurt. my throat hurts. i have school and i just feel like shit. i know i should go. but i have to do a lot more work and i'm just. ick. my eyes feel like my sinuses are pushing on them from all around. but that's not the main thing.

the past couple days i feel like the boyfriend is pulling away from me. while i'm thinking about it, i'm sick of saying 'the boyfriend.' his name is josh. i feel like josh is pulling away from me. and i don't know why. yesterday he said i was getting too critical, so maybe that's it. it just seems like he has this wall up when we're together and he doesn't want to spend as much time with me. which would be fine, i just wish he would talk to me about what he's feeling instead of just pulling away. it reminds me of what happened to my exboyfriend except not as severe. maybe its just my imagination. who knows. i'm paranoid i guess.

i just feel like shit. and yeah. i guess i better go do something more productive.

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