|
more. i find it funny that people actually come here and waste time. it makes me feel good though. i don't know why. i guess at my other diary (it has 78 people who link to it) i feel no one cares. they really just come and read and don't leave any notes or guestbook messages. but every entry i write here gets accompanied by at least 1. which makes me feel good. so i know people are reading it. and it feels good to know people relate to me. so i don't feel so alone. but still it's nice. josh and i have been going to lamaze classes at the pregnancy care clinic around us. the people there are so wonderful. that's what they do, the majority of them, they help pregnant teenagers. and they are so caring. they really care about how you feel. i mentioned we had to do lists for her, well we did them. and she said 'i can tell niether of you want to give the baby up, your just scared.' so she said we should rule out adoption and go from here. work on the things we can work on. we can't plan for everything. which kinda bugs me. i feel like we're walking into a maze and every corner we take is either a dead end or leads to somewhere. it's really weird. btu we're also taking lamaze classes there. and they are so informative. i knew stuff about labor and birth and everything, but the amount of information they show you and give you and teach you. it's amazing. some people tell me they find lamaze classes pointless, and i'm like 'damn.' even if you don't use the breathing stuff, they walk you through as much of labor as they can. they try to help you comprehend whats going on. it's just really cool. since it's a clinic, it's free. and it's just cool. i like it. mmm. what else? my parents are on a cruise to greece that they've been saving for forever. it's kinda weird cuz i've never been this far away from my mom. my mom's never been this far away from home. it's really scary cuz they are so close to all the stuff going on in afghanistan. but eh. the house is still full. with my brother, sister-in-law, niece, and other brother. plus josh is here a lot. but it's nice to have a break from the parents. it's my first taste of being grown up. i've always had my mom over my shoulder. i'm starting to get a belly. which is nice yet frustrating, cuz regardless that i'm 6 months pregnant, i'm still in denial. it all seems like a dream. not a bad one, but not a good one. i still am in that state where i feel like i will wake up at any second and just say 'wow. that was lifelike.' but. nope. my 18th birthday is in 17 days. it's weird because its my last birthday not being a mom. it scares me. i want to do something special, but i don't know what. they are cutting josh's hours back by a lot. he went from working 30-40 hours a week, to 11. and he's been working there a year, so he finally gets his 'you've been here for 1 year' raise and they cut his hours a lot. he's looking for another one. he's so stressed out and it's killing me to see him like this. there's mroe to say but i'm tired. so. i'll say it later. Miss Anything? |
Content � ababystory | Design � Vitriol | Hosted by Dland |