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due date +13. as we all know, my (hopefully) last appointment to the obstetritian is wednesday. and my mom said 'i'm going with you.' she did not ask, she did not even let me voice my opinion, she just said 'i'm going.' she constantly acts like she is the pregnant one, she constantly tells me how i'm going to parent josh's and mine child, and when i try to stand up to her, she gets mad and says i have no respect for her. she does not want to respect my wishes that when i'm in the hospital i only want josh to be there. i don't want a parade of people there. she tries to tell me that my father is allowed to be in the room, at least in the beginning. and i don't want this. i don't like my father, he has just started to acknowledge the baby, and he still acts all high and mighty about it. the fact is, i'm an adult, legally. i still have a lot of growing up and learning to do. but i wanted guidance not someone to sit there and tell me what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. perfect example, i like the way my sister dresses her babies for bed. she puts socks on them. babies are cold, their little feet are cold, and she believes the extra coverage of their tiny toes does them good. my mom has told me already 'you are not doing that.' and i want to smack her. i like doing that, i'm almost positive josh will not object, we are the parents, why can't we pick what we do? anyway, i don't want my mother to go to the doctor with josh and i on wednesday. first of all, she always makes comments to the doctors that make the doctors think i'm not trying to do everything the best i can. last time she told them i wasn't exersizing enough, the doctor looked at me and said 'her weight gain is fine, she is not bulking up everywhere, there is no real concern here.' and she got on her next kick that i don't eat enough meat. i don't like beef. it makes me nauseous. i'm sick of feeling like i'm going to throw up, so, i avoid beef. she gets all mad and says i'm depriving my child. when, excuse me, she's growing fine. doctors say pregnant women have food cravings and aversions for a reason. then, she told the doctor i wasn't taking my prenatal vitamins. her reasoning? she was counting them, and i should have had 8 gone and i only had 6. the reason behind this? we send the prenatal vitamin prescription to this express script that mails you your prescriptions. while my parents were in greece, the pills came and no one informed me that they had come. they were on the dining room table covered in other mail. so, i got the pills 2 days later than i should have. and, while this was going on, i had SAMPLES the doctor gave me that i was taking. so, she told the doctor i wasn't taking my prenatal vitamins, and he got upset with me. i explained to him (as i had explained to her several times) and he nodded his head. then, sometimes after i go to an appointment, she'll call the next day and tell the doctor obsene things. like, one time, she called the doctor and told him i stopped eating. how hard is it to be pregnant and not eat?! when your pregnant, if you're hungry, you're hungry. you have to eat. plus, what would be the purpose of doing all these things to make sure the baby is healthy, then starve it? josh said 'i can honestly say, she eats. oh boy does she eat.' i understand sometimes she's just trying to help and express her concerns, but she doesn't do anything but make things worse. this is a time in my life where i need to become more independent. and she refuses to let me. she constantly tells me i need to learn to cook food, and do laundry, and clean, when i can do all those things. she lets me cook sometimes, if you give me the recipe, i can make it. you can't expect me to know out of the clear blue how to make something i've never made before. i can do laundry, she just tells me she doesn't want me to do it. i can clean. i've cleaned before. i know how. i'm not stupid. she constantly tells me i need to grow up, but she refuses to let me have any give. i understand she's a mother, and it's hard for her to let her baby go, but she has to. she's not doing anything but making me want to rebel even more. i'm still a teenager, if i feel my independence is threatened, i rebel. and i'm getting sick of it. she won't let me do anything on my own. i don't want her to go to the doctors on wednesday because her being there won't do anything. if the doctor is going to induce me, he's going to make plans to do so whether she is there or not. and i have to learn how to do things like this on my own. because she can't always be there to hold my hand. i want to deal with this just josh and i. my dad is already telling me who he thinks we should have babysit the baby, my mom is already telling me how i should let people interact with the baby, josh's dad always tells me who to let around the baby and to make sure this and that doesn't happen, and josh's mom tells me how she thinks i should raise the baby. everyone is so full of advice that they are forgetting that i need to learn to do some things on my own. and tonight, my dad was making a fuss because my mom won't go away this weekend to this stupid church retreat because the baby hasn't been born yet. when, way back when he asked her about it, she told him 'i have to see what's going on with the baby first. if she is born early enough, i'll go.' and he's complaining, when she gave him a lot of warning. tonight, she told him 'i'm going to the doctor because i want this thing over with.' once again. my pregnancy has spawned into someone else's pregnancy. this is when i wish i lived on my own. because then i wouldn't have to deal with this bullshit everyday. and i'm getting really tired of it. and i don't know how to address her about it without her getting all nazi-mom on me. i guess i'm upset because she won't let me make up my own mind. she won't let me take responsibility for my own actions. she won't let me, that is, until it's convenient for her to not be around. i just wish i felt like i had some say in any of this. i don't like feeling like all of this is out of my hands, and it is. and my mom isn't helping it any by taking away the little bit of control i have left. i just sound like a typical teenager. and i'm sick of it. i'm just plain sick of it all. 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